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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
I fell asleep on the couch last night & woke up thinking I was married.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
It should really be called teethpaste.
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..