Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?