Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
Someone just told me to "Have a good morning". What about the rest of my day mother f*cker?
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Just because I`m nodding my head at appropriate times while you`re talking doesn`t mean I give a sh!t about what you`re saying..
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"