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Okay, calm down. Its a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
Over the weekend I pulled a muscle getting off the couch to fetch more Doritos.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
Language is cool because it`s just a bunch of sounds, but put them in the right order & you can make someone cry or you can order tacos.
I wouldn`t want to fly Virgin. Who`d want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way?
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.