Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This status update is only available in English.
it`s not that I`m bad at remembering names, I`m just awesome at forgetting them.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a dog, or just a pizza.
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
If life was easy, we wouldn`t need alcohol.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.