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Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.