Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Your baby was cute until I realized you’re on the same flight as me. Now your baby is stupid.
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.