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If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
This weekends forecast shows a 0% chance of cooking or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas.
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.