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The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I bought some shoes of a drug dealer, I don`t know what he laced them with but I`ve been tripping all day.
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
My wife was afraid of the dark......then she saw me naked.........now she is afraid of the light.
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
I need a new bad decision.
Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.