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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing’s different.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
Helpful Tip: You can’t get in trouble for leaving work early if you disable the security cameras and crawl out the air-conditioning duct.
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
I just heard someone say "I can`t wait for 13/13/13" .....let`s take a moment and pray for this dumbass
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.