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If you got up this morning and ran straight to fb i am 100% POSITIVE its because you missed me.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for Monday.. Satan slips that one in. He’s a sneaky bastard.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
My mom says I`m special.
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?