Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when I’m about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
I get butterflies in my stomach every time I eat butterflies.
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there
Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate`s face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone... priceless.