Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.