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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I`ll be able to fit".
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
At least a stalker is there for you.