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Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
I would have a girlfriend but finding someone who likes to be ignored is hard.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.