Daily Silly Status

Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...

Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it’s all panic and screaming.

My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going.

Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."

Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty

Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.

You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.

You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”

I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.

Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.

I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..

Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective.

Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid people

I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.