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Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
I don’t understand shark movies I mean just get out of the water.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
I just ate a Cheeto that melted perfectly in my mouth! It was Awesome! ....Until I realised that was the highlight of my day.
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
If you tell people you used to weigh 500 pounds they`ll tell you how great you look at 250.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.