Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was driving to work this morning and saw a bumper sticker that said, "Jesus is the answer." A few minutes later I saw another bumper sticker that said, "Who farted?" That was the best game of Highway Jeopardy ever!
My day so far: 1) Jumped out of bed 2) Cooked breakfast 3) Ran 6 miles 4) Worked out 5) Started lying compulsively
Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
Time flies when you’re having a drunken blackout.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.