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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
I will be forever in your debt if you would just loan me 1 million dollars.