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Your family tree has a couple of coconuts
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
Spinning in circles to get dizzy as a child was my first attempt at getting high.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?