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I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.