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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
it`s not that I`m bad at remembering names, I`m just awesome at forgetting them.
Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I don`t think that boobs and brains this fabulous should count against me.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
Not so great minds also think alike.
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.