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Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
Loneliness is when your sleeve unrolls itself while washing dishes and you try to roll it back up with your face.
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you`re not in shape, it`s too far to walk back.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
There should be a law requiring the cashier to high five you every time you buy a box of condoms.
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.