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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat.
I`m one more bottle of wine away from starting a blog.
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
Adulthood is mostly about being tired and wishing you hadn’t made plans.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.