Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
If anyone asks, I`m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!
I always ask my waitress to name everything that comes in the salad then I respond “OK perfect, I want a cheeseburger with none of that on it.”