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At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Whenever you can`t think of anything to say in therapy just go with, "I`ve been thinking about killing you."
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.