Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some call it alcoholism, I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
I like people... From a distance.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....