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Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
If it`s tourist season why can`t we shoot them?
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.