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I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
I don’t understand how my house gets so messy when I literally sit in one spot with my phone all day.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
Gym update: not there
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.