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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
Bored? Simply send a text to a random number saying "I`m pregnant"