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I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed ... Again.
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?