Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
I dare you to spit on this status.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.