Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
I was in a taxi and the driver said "I love my job. I`m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That`s really great, now take a left here."
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
Broke up with my girlfriend. She was into the horoscope stuff and we weren`t compatible. I`m a libra and shes a...b!tch
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.