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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
I accidentally shoveled the sidewalk all the way to the bar again.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.
From now on when I accept a friend request I`ll just write on their wall: You belong to me now.
They say money doesn`t bring you happiness.... I say....neither does being broke....