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How is it that when you are dead and a zombie you can rip open a man`s ribcage, but when you are alive you struggle with a bag of chips?
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
Some people have goals of conquering the world! My goal is to sleep through the night without having to get up and pee!
My daughter exclaims "Cheers!" before she takes a drink of juice. So no, actually, I am NOT looking forward to parent - teacher conferences.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
Describe yourself in 3 words". "Not good at following instructions"
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.