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I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
He died doing what he loved: telling me I`m overreacting.
When I was young I could climb mountains, these days I have to steady myself to fart.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
This century is already 15% over.
Thanks for the free weekend offer E-Harmony but my wife said I can`t use it.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted