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Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: Iām getting laid.....off.
I never care whether or not my glass is half full or half empty... cause I drink straight from the bottle!
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
I`m tired of things costing money
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
You know you should goto sleep when the sheep you`re counting start hitting the fence.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.
Home is where the alcohol is.