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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she pours gasoline around your car.
The awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.