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If I like you, I’ll let you hold the TV remote when we watch TV. If I love you, I won’t take the batteries out of it beforehand.
Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
you know that awkward moment when you think someone`s talking to you so you reply to them and then they look over at you with that disgusted facial expression that says "wtf ..no"
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?
Microsoft Excel has got to be the worlds worst video game.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?