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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
scratch here Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦ to reveal my status
It seems like the āLā in my luck has been replaced with an āFā.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, Iād like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.