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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do