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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Facebook, the lost and found for people. . .
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
No one understands you better than some crazy weirdos on the internet.
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.