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I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
Be thankful for stupid people, they make it easier for the rest of us to get ahead in life.
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
Every job in the world should require their employees to enter and leave work in a Soul Train line.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
Leaving the house on a Monday morning would be so much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action!" as I walk out the door.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers