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Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
"Grapey." -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
All shoes are technically buy one get one free...
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone