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I don`t get personal trainers. I`ve never been exercising and thought "man, I wish someone hot was criticizing me right now."
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.