Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Home is where the pants aren`t.
Technically, it isn`t pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong