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If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
Apparently, "Step up your game" isn`t the correct response when your neighbour brings over fresh cookies, and your wife asks how they are.
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
Dear future boyfriend/girlfriend, where the hell are you?
When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: “And so should you!”
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, when I tell people about my accomplishments, they always say, "Big deal."