Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
OMG! I went shopping because I needed a skirt and these earings were on special so I bought four new pairs of shoes!
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
They should make Vodka ChapStick
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.