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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
99% sure my soulmate is a piece of pizza.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?