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From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
The human body is amazing... You breathe in oxygen and it converts it into sarcasm.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.