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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
Pretty sure one of my ex-girlfriends added the, "are you still listening?" feature on Pandora.
Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!