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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
I would like to think I will die a heroic death, but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
Someday, somewhere, somehow Iām going to do something.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
You know what`s wrong with winning a hundred thousand dollars? ... Not a damn thing!
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.