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A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.