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I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.